Santa and Preeto was in Bus.

Santa and Preeto was in Bus.
Preeto : Suniye jee peeche wala aadi mere blouse me haath daal raha hai.
Santa : Oye tu ghabra mat, ussey kya pata batua to mere paas hai.

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Jab mein gana gaati hu to aap bahar kyu chale jate ho?

Wife : Jab mein gana gaati hu to aap bahar kyu chale jate ho?
Husband : Taki Mohalle wale ye na samjhe ki mein tumhara gala daba raha hu.

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Full form of MATHS????

Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

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An elephant falls in luv wid n ent

5) An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dant bahar hai**

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ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market

6)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

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wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?

wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

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who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?

2) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
……….sita with ravan

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Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

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When girls wear tight fitting dresses

Teacher : Santa! Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor”.
Santa : When girls wear tight fitting dresses, “NEiTHER” are they
comfortable, “NOR” are we!

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Sardar ke radio me kuch problem

Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai

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Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!

Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.

Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!

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Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha

Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!

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Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha

Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”

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A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage

A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”

Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months

Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!

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‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!

Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Santa: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!

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bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.

Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!

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SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!

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ne cute and young girl is walking

English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”

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Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi

Sardar’s Son - Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..

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Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.

Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!

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Ek Ladka gadhe ke samne achana gir pada...

Ek Ladka gadhe ke samne achana gir pada…To samne se aa rahi
ladki ne dekhkar bola…Apne bade bhai ke pair chu rahe ho…
Ladka bola : Haan bhabhi jee!

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Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark

Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark on her stomach.
When asked why ISI mark..
She replied…ISI means INTELLIGENT SARDAR INSIDE.

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Lo light chali gayi.

Sardarni : Lo light chali gayi.
Sardar : Light chali gayi hai to fan chala do.
Sardarni :Lo fir se kar di na sardaro wali baat. Agar fan chalaunga to mombatti bujh nahi jayegi!

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um ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho

Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!

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gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the

Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

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What is Long & Hard

Question : What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet,
hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?
Answer : Vicks Inhaler

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Sardar Giving Introduction

Once a Sardar, his wife, son and daughter went to a private party. There he introduces his family to a stranger by saying, “I am Sardar, she is Sardarni, he is my kid and she is my kidney.”

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ati aur patni ghumne gaye.

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha - Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati - Namaste Sasur Ji

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Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch..

Girl-to-Boy - Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl - Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.

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Naukrani paas khade kutt...

Naukrani paas khade kutte ke paas gayi aur uske paas 10 rs ka note rakh diya.
“Ye kya kar rahi ho?”, Malkin ne pucha.
Naukrani replied : Yehi to ek hai jisne ess ghar me mera saath diya.
Ye na hota to mein ghar me itne bartan kabhi bhi akele saaf na kar pati.

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