Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai
Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai,
Aab to tanhai aaksar hamse milti hai,
aapne band kiya jabse SMS karna,
MOBILE ki battery jyada chalti hai..!
Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai,
Aab to tanhai aaksar hamse milti hai,
aapne band kiya jabse SMS karna,
MOBILE ki battery jyada chalti hai..!
I like watching you,
I like to spend my time with you But you are always surrounded by others As you are the main attaraction of the ZOO..!
Kya bindas hawa chal raheli hai,
birds gana ga rahele hain,
Cow log grass eat rahele hain,
shane log SMS kar rahele hain aur
dhakkan log SMS padh rahele hain.
Ghunghat nein tujhe dekha to deewana hua.
Sangeet ka tarana hua,Shamaa ka parwana hua,
Masti ka Mastana hua,
Jaise hi ghunghat uthaya is duniya se ravaana hua.
Neend me ho to 1 sapna bhejo,
Jag rahe ho to Fasana Bhejo,
Hans Rahe to Jok Bhejo,
Ro rahe ho to Anshu Bhejo,
Kuch nahi kar rahe ho to, SMS Bhejo.
NEW EXAM PATTERN IN INDIA
GENERAL: Answer all questions
OBC: Answer any 1 question
SC: Only read d questions
ST: Thanks for cuming
GUJJARS: Thanks for allowing others to attend the exams
Full form of a GIRL
G: Goli dene m sabse aage.
I : Innocent sirf face se.
R: Rone dhone ki automatic machine.
L:Ladai me sabki maa.
A boy was following a Girl,
Girl Replied: Don't follow me, my SISTER is Coming behind u.
Boy replied: Don't Worry My brother is Following her
2 men jumping from buiding terrace.
1st: This is my 50th time,I'm a record holder.
2nd: this is my first time.
I'm a "Satyam share Holder"
Johny Johny, Yes papa.
No msgs ,why papa,
Remove ur simcard quick papa,
Put ur cell in the well papa,
Clap ur hands
Ha...Ha...Ha.....
What is confidence?
think.......
think........
think it.....
A 99 year old lady buying a sim card with life time validity
Agar marwadi Ladkiya Papita Bechti To,
Ladko Ka Bahut Fayda Hota.
Kyu Ki Ladkiyo Ko Ye Aawaz Lagani Padti,
Pappi To Le Lo...
Pappi To Le Lo...
Teacher: What is common between KRISHNA,GANDHI & JESUS ?
SARDAR : ALL ARE bORN ON GOVERMENT HOLIDAYS.
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Sardar:No mam, I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Sardar:My mother will not allow me to go so far !
After de death of EMRAN HASHMI what will be written on his grave 'Do Not Disturb' Soney de SAALE ko.
Pehli baar akela so raha hai!
ladhki k baap ne vidhai k time dulha se kaha:
"Beta ab humari izzat tumare haath mai hai"
Dulha: Pareshaan mat ho aaj he loot longa
Newtons Law of Romance
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER.
Tumhary saath kia masla hy?
har wakt pregnent rehti ho
jab bhi tumhain sms kia
tumhari delivery report aa jati hy
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai, ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya ?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.
Jab gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
Viru: kya hua?
kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the
Ek larki darzi ki dukan pe jati hai aur pochti hai,
Gi yahan galay miltay hain?
Darzi:waisay galay miltay tou nahi hain laykin ap kahti hain tou mil laytay hain.
God apun se puchha,kidhar jana mangta? Swarg Ya Narak ?
Apun bola Narak ! Apun janta,tum saala dost log udharich milega.
Aur jidhar tum log,woich apun ka swarg
Boy asks to Girl: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi ?
Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tak pitoge ?
Wife: last night i dreamt of u buying me a diamond necklace.?
Husband:tonight, go to sleep and enjoy wearing it
Aaj ki taza khabar 10 ko bewkoof banaya,
plz press down 4 details,
Ab ki taza khabar 11 ve ko bewkoof banaya.
Girls hostel ki light chali jatti hai ek larki complain office phone karti hai 'Light chali gai hai, Aadmi bnaijo'
Officer: 'Aadmi nahi hai mombati se kaam chalao'
Pledge of BOYS:
India is our nation,girls r our destination, dating is our occupation, flirting is our profession,to hell with education..,
Teacher sabse garam chez kia he
student: jalta howa bulb
teacher: shabash woh kese
student: meri mammi aik martaba mere papa se kehrahi thi k pehle bulb band karo phir mon men longi
Dear customer ur underwear validity for 1 year is over.
Pls change ur underwear today and enjoy 1 year validity
Man:Doctor Mujhe normal potti nahi aati,
Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khayi to roti,normal k liye kya karu,
Doctor:PoTTI KHA...!
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye
Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto ke samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat maine chaddi pahni hi nahi hai...
Man said passionately: Will you marry me?
My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say?
She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!
World's Smallest resignation letter?
Respected sir,I luve ur wife.
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
BoyFriend: Thanks for the warning!
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him.
Do you understand me?
Son: No.
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
BOY : May I hold your hand ?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy..!
Young girl praying:plz God,marry me with intelligent man
God replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married
A sexy woman like a 1000 rupee note,
u don't know how many have handled it but u still want 2 have it.
Girls before marriage look like barbi Doll
After mariage beautiful Doll
After 1 year nice Doll
After 2 Years only Doll
And After 3 Years panaDoll
Subjiwala: madam ye 500 ka
note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam: hann par kaise laga?
Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh
abhi bhi khula hua hai!
A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishta
after a month he got a letter
"mian sahib" iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.
.....By Subir
Newton ne apple niche girte dekha or Gravity ki khoj ki,
ye pucho ki 25 saal se TOILET Karta tha ,
wo kya upar jata tha?
sala chutiya bana gaya.
Tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
Ek to jhel liya dusra aaya to kayamat hogi.
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga,
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun,
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga.
Aapke haath me mobile hai,
Chehere pe khubh See smile hai,
SMS ki aChchi khasi File hai,
Phir bhi SMS nahi karte,
yaar, yeh kaun sa stupid style hai..?
One day a monkey looked into mirror & said, "Oh my ugly face, fat nose" and killed himself. Promise me u will not look into mirror, coz I dont wanna loose you!
Read more...Forest king Virappan died last week.
In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins.
Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said-We want 2 disturb some good person.
I suggest them ur name.
They said "We cannot disturb our boss."
Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No...?
Quickly see your driving license.
I saw U on ROAD today.
U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect.
My HEART started singing a Sweet Song:-
" WHO LET THE DOGS OUT"
Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!
Dil tha ameer or mukadar gareeb tha,
Mil kar bichdna hi mera naseeb tha,
Caha kar bhi kuch kar na sake hum,
Ghar bhi Jalta raha aur samundar karib tha.
Hichkiyan dilakar ye kase uljhan badha rahe ho,
Ankehn band hai phir bhi nazar a rahe ho,
Bas itna bata do hame,Yaad kar rahe ho,
Ya apni yaad dila rahe ho.
Muddat hui wo rulane nahi aaye,
Jalti hui ankhon ko bujhane nahi aye,
Kethe the sah jiyenge sath marenge,
Ruthe hum unse jo ek roz to aj tk manae nahi aaye.
Agar rakh pao to ek nishani hai hum,
Aur kho jaye to sirf ek kahani hain hum,
Jise rok paye na sari duniya,
Bahti daria ka pani hai hum!
Khubsurat hai zindagi khwab ki tarah,
jane kab tut jaye kanch ki tarah,
Hame na bhulna kisi baat ki tarah,
Dil me rakhna meethi yaad ki tarah…
Sabke chehre se har Baat nahi hoti,
Thode se andhere se raat nahi hoti,
Zindagi mein kuch log bahut pyare,
Hote hai Kya kare unhi se mulakat nahi hoti.
Na zindagi mili na wafa mili,
Na jaane kyu har khushi humse khafa mili,
Jhuti muskan liye apne gum chupate rahe,
Sacha pyar karne ki bhi kya khoob saza mili…
Khamosh palko se jab aansoo aate hai,
aap kya jaane aap kitne yaad aate hai,
kitni baar jakar aaye hum us mod pe,
jaha apne kaha tha, ruko hum ate hai..
Unko apni jaan ka sallam likhenge,
dil ki kitab mein apna armaan likhenge,
kash humein mil jaye aasman ki hukumat,
sitaron ki jagah unka naam likhenge…
Dil ki kitaab ka panna chura le gaya koi,
ankhon se neend uda le gaya koi,
kisi ki yaad me tadpne ki adat nahi thi hume,
apni yaadon mein tadapna sikha gaya koi..
Kisiko apna banane mein der lag jati hai,
vada nibhane mein der lag jati hai,
pyar to pal bhar me ho jata hai,
par use bhulane me zindagi lag jati hai…!
Hoton pe hasi,
Ankhon me khusi,
Gum ka kahi naam na ho,
Aap ke liye Naya saal laye,
Itani khushiyan,
Jiski kabhi Shaam na ho.
Happy New Year
Subeh Subeh uth ke ho jawo Fresh,
Pehenlo aj sobse aacha sa koi Dress,
Doston ka sath aab chalo Ghumne,
Eid Mubarak Karo sabko jo aaye Samne.
Tumko bhi EID MUBARAK
The moon has been sighted
The samoosas are ready
Here comes EID so just go steady
Lots of dua’s is all i request
and just wanted to wish you all the BEST!!!
“Eid Mubarak”
Aaj Khuda ki hum par ho Meharbani,
Karde maaf hum logo ki sare Naformani,
Eid Ka din aj aao milke kare yahi wada,
Khuda ka hi raaho mein hum chalange sada.
Sabko EID MUBARAK
Eid leka aate hai dher sare khusiya,
Eid mita deta hai insan mai duriya,
Eid hai khuda ka ek nayam tabarok
Eisi liye kahte hai sab EID MUBARAK
Haqikat samjho ya afsana,
apna samjho ya begana,
Hamara apka rishta hai purana,
isliye farz tha apko batana,
Ke bakara id aa rahi hai,
ab shuru kaar do ghas khana.
There is no ideal Christmas,
only the one Christmas you decide to,
Make as a reflection of your values,
Desires, affections, traditions.
Christmas is not a time nor a season,
but a state of mind. To cherish peace,
and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas
Two merry blue eyes,
A very little nose,
A long snowy beard,
And cheeks like a rose,
A round chubby man,
A big bulging pack,
Hurrah for Old Santa,
We’re glad he’s come back!
Khusiyon ki baahar,
Pyar beshumaar,
Mauj masti ka khumar,
Saath mein ho poora parivar,
Sab milkar payen bhangra,
Lohri mubarak ho tujhe mere yaar!
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
Sare Bhangra Pao in da car,
Punjabi tadka te daal frai,
Tuhanu LOHRI DI lakh lakh vadhai….!!!
Pher aa Gayi Bhangre d vari,
Lohri Manaun d karo Taiyaari,
Agg de kol saare aao,
Sundariye Mundariye jor naal gao.
WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY LOHRI!!!
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